Strong and Courageous

Strong and Courageous

If I can be honest, even though I may appear tough and put together on the outside, I'm not on the inside.  I have fears that make me feel weak and afraid.  Even to the point at times of losing my focus on the path of God's plan for my life.  You could say fear and weakness can be major distractions.

So what do I fear?  Well probably not what you may think.  I fear failure, being inadequate for God's calling in my life, not being used by God, I fear missing out serving the LORD.  I also fear the voices; you know the voices inside your head.  No I am not crazy or insane.  I fear the same voices most people hear.  I am taking about the voice of doubt.    Some of the things I hear are “You are not adequate enough” “You are not committed enough” “You are not talented enough” “You are not wise enough” “You are too busy” “You will never be able” “You are not disciplined enough” “You are not …” And the one that seems to get us all “Did God really say…”

Just recently I returned from a Youth mission trip to Ridgecrest North Carolina.  Prior to and during the mission trip, satan was doing all he could to hinder, distract, and even stop what God had planned.  There were all kinds of issues, distractions, and problems leading up to the mission trip.  Throughout the weeks leading up to the mission trip, I began to feel doubt and fear.  But then I was also constantly reminded that I did not have to be afraid, I could be strong and courageous. 

Every time I felt doubt or fear, I always spoke Gods truth and promises to satan.  I also reminded myself and the all the others that God was about to do something big and satan was doing his best to hinder and stop what God had planned for each of us.  Through it all we all clung to the promises of God that we can be strong and courageous because He was with us.  Have you ever stopped to think and believe that if God has called you to a particular task, then He is going to provide the means and methods to complete what He desires?

 It is not the weakness of God that leads to our failures.  It is when we surrender to our fears that we fail.  This past week, we refused to surrender to the doubts and fears and through it all God moved in ways greater than what we had experienced before.  The testimonies of this mission trip are so great and too much to tell, but I can say this; we climbed out of the valley and rose to a mountain top all by the strength of God.  We may not be fearless, but we certainly learned to fear less. 

In the LORD, you are made strong and courageous.  Your assurance comes with His presence in your life as He walks with you and leads you.  In Christ Jesus, you are never alone. 

The picture is from top of a mountain overlooking the Smokey mountains.  We went to the mountain top to view the sunrise during our mission trip.

 

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ’s Love!

I Told a Lie and God Changed My Life

After resigning the management position life seemed to have more free time. Because of the free time, Carri and I became more active serving in our church. We got more involved with Sunday school, bible studies, vacation bible schools, and church camps. Honestly, Carri was really the leader for these things; I just kind of tagged along.

Because of my history, I was still very timid and shy. In fact, it was not until recent years that I even felt comfortable speaking in a Sunday school class. Just the thought of standing in front of a group made me sick. I would get palpitations in my chest, my voice would quiver, and I would feel like throwing up. It scared me to death; even teenagers intimidated me at 30+ years of age. Relating to children, that was no problem. I could call their bluff and socially I was right there with them.

God really began to deal with my fears during a Children's church camp. Carri and I had taken a group of kids to the Arkansas Baptist Assembly church camp in Siloam Springs. It was a little white lie I told that God used to convict my heart. The camp pastor was Mike Seabaugh, "Big O" he was the one I lied to.

Here is what happened. I was walking across the campus to my cabin when I ran into Mike in front of the worship center. Looking back I believe it was a divine appointment. As I was walking with my face towards the ground, I heard a familiar voice call out "Hey, can you help me with something?" I use to always walk with my face to the ground, that way I rarely had to interact with people. Well that time I did not have much of a choice, the only person around besides Big O, was me. I looked up and said, "Sure what do you need." What I was expecting to hear is not what I heard. I expected something like this, "can you help me move this or that, or some type of labor involved assistance." What I heard was, "I need help with the skit tonight."

Immediately I felt faint, palpitations began to pound in my chest, and I wanted to vomit. I am certain that I responded with a quivering voice, "um…I am the only male chaperon …and um……I don't think I can leave my kids to be in a skit……..sorry, I would help but I just can't." That year we had no boys with us, only girls. Trust me; Carri did not need my help. I lied, flat out lied.

I left Mike standing there still looking for help and went on to the cabin. At the cabin, conviction fell upon me in a way I had never felt before. I was at a Christian camp and I just lied to the camp pastor. God and I went back and forth with our words. God was saying, "How dare you lie." I was saying, "I just can’t do it God, you know I can't do it." He would respond back, "Go back and tell him you will help." After going back and forth arguing for what seemed like hours, God won. Fearfully and begrudgingly I went back to find Mike.

I went into the sanctuary where I had left Mike earlier. I was hoping and praying that he had found someone else to help. Worse-case scenario, I was sure I would just be a background person. When I entered the sanctuary, I found Mike and a small group of guys practicing the skit for that night. Mike saw me and shouted out, "Hey your back! So can you help now?" "Yes, I can help." "Great!" Mike then proceeded towards me with a paper in hand. "Here are your lines, memorize them quickly."

That night, I was in the skit dressed as a Roman soldier. I was in a very uncomfortable and fearful place for me. This is what I did, I prayed; "God you got me into this so you better not embarrass me. I really need you by my side to help me get through this."

That night, I did it and I loved it. I had never ever I repeat ever done anything like that before. God gave me the strength and courage to face my fears of standing and speaking in front of a group. I acted out the role of a roman soldier before a crowd of at least 1,000 - 1,200 children and adults. My strength only could have come from the Lord.

Psalms 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

From that point on, I had a secret in my heart. I wanted to do more. Sadly I allowed my fear to hold me back for several years. Deep inside I really did want to do more. Each year after, I have volunteered to be part of Mike's skits. They are elaborate, animated and very vocal. God used Mike Seabaugh "Big O" to begin my journey into ministry.

The picture is me "Zebra Man" and my good friend Tom "Panda Man" Dressed up as super heroes during Camp Siloam 2012!

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!