What I am about to share happens to be two of the most powerful
personal experiences in my life. These
are the reasons that motivate me to reach youth, or anyone who is hurting for
that matter.
Suicide:
Professionally,
I cannot even begin to list the number of attempted and successful teen
suicides I have been involved in. So many lives are tragically lost prematurely
because of emotional pain. Most of which could have been prevented if bullying
did not exist by peers and even family members. These lost lives may still be
with us today, if they only would have confided in someone who could have been
an advocate for them. Parents, pastors, teachers, councilors, coaches, aunts,
uncles, friends...there is always someone willing to listen and help.
My first
girlfriends name was Tina; she was one of the most beautiful girls in the
school. Every guy wanted to date a girl like her. Tina could have dated anyone
on any given day. Most people really liked her and she was fun to be around.
The awkward thing about Tina, she dated me. I was the wimp, the scrawny kid that
most kids made fun of. To me, our relationship resembled the beauty and the
Beast. Well more like Beauty and the Wimp. For whatever reason, Tina had an
interest in me.
Like most high school relationships, ours did not last long. After
a few weeks, she began to show up at school with unkempt hair and ugly clothes.
I even remember the glasses that only my grandma would have worn. It was
strange; Tina was trying to make herself ugly. She became too weird for me. I became
very creeped out so I walked away from her.
A few weeks went by and Tina made several attempts to talk to me:
stopping me in the hallway, leaving me notes, and waiting for me outside after
school. I did everything I could to avoid her. I did not want to deal with
whatever was going on. Like I said, her recent transformation creeped me out. I
literally turned my back on her. The cat and mouse chase went on for a few
weeks then it abruptly came to an end. Tina shot and killed herself with a
bullet to her head.
As the police investigation unfolded, news broke out that Tina was
allegedly forced to perform as a nude dancer by her mother at a so-called
gentlemen's club. What I believe now is that Tina was making a last ditch
effort to reach out to someone who should have cared. Could it have been that
she wanted to be ugly? If she was ugly, then she would not have had to dance in
front of men who were drunk and groping at her adolescent body as if she were a
piece of meat. I may never know that answer.
Here is what I do know; I turned my back on a girl who needed me.
I sent her the message, "I don't like you, I don't want you, I don't
care", "You do not matter to me". What would have happened if I
had responded to her call for help? Maybe Tina would be here today.
Drinking
and driving:
The second
life-changing event for me is the guilt I have had to live with for not taking
responsibility for a friend who was drunk and needed to go home. For this and
many other reasons, I speak out strongly against alcohol. I have had countless
horrific experiences involving this foolishness and stupidity. What makes this
even worse is the number of innocent lives that have been taken because of this
ignorance induced by drunkenness. No one is invincible when it comes to
drinking and driving. Alcohol is in control not you.
I will make this
one short. Gary was killed in an alcohol related motor vehicle accident. While
driving home from a party in order to protect his friends, Gary hit an oak tree
at a high rate of speed. Upon impact, the engine of his car came into the
drivers' compartment and killed him instantly. He almost made it home. The
large tree he hit happened to be in his best friend's front yard.
Why would anyone
ever allow a friend to drive drunk? Fun should never involve alcohol. You might
as well play Russian roulette. Here is a fair warning: if you choose to drink
and drive, eventually something horrible will come from it. Someone is going to
get hurt and maybe even die and it may be you, someone else or even both. Drunkenness
is just like putting that gun to your head, pulling the trigger and hoping you
have the empty chamber. I was supposed to be Gary's friend; I never tried to
stop him and I never tried to discourage him. A real friend is going to tell
you when you are wrong. A real friend will try to stop you from being stupid.
Honestly, I was not a friend.
 |
| Stupidity, ignorance and avoidance can sure make a mess of things |
Two thoughts from God's word I feel apply to this blog entry:
Matthew 5:13-16
"You are the salt of the earth. But
if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no
longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on
its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let
your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your
Father in heaven.
Silence and
avoidance is the same as losing our saltiness and shutting off our lights. A
follower of Jesus Christ is to be the salt and light in this world. Do you get
this? We must be who He is. We must reflect His likeness; when we do, people
are drawn to Him. They will praise Him. Why? In Christ is where we find hope.
Luke 17:1-3
Jesus said to his disciples: "Things
that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom
they come. 2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a
millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones
to sin. 3 So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if
he repents, forgive him.
