Proverbs 31 Woman

ATTENTION!!! Teen Girls and ladies! This Post is For You.  a MUST READ.

On occasion, I like to share other people's testimonies that I know for sure are legitimate.  This particular young lady is a teenager that I have come to know in recent months.  I have followed her on twitter and Facebook.  There is no doubt that she is rock solid in her faith. Her tweets and status are always uplifting and God approved.  I feel safe in saying, this is the type of godly young lady you pray your son will meet.  Her life and testimony has inspired and encouraged me to keep up the good fight as a youth pastor in reaching teens for Christ.  

Hello, my name is "__________" I am a 17 year old girl, and this is my story. When I was in eighth grade, I had my first boyfriend. After that one I had another, and another, and another, and so on. See, I had this problem. This problem is called lust. The definition of lust is to have an intense or obsessive desire in a way that is not pure. I replaced lust, with love. When I was about 15 I met this boy. He liked me, and I liked him. All seemed pretty great, until later down the road. He started to say, "I love you." And of course I just said it back, because I didn't know. I didn’t know what real "love" was. He told me how pretty I was and how much he wanted me. And that made me feel good. He made me feel like I was worth something. Something valuable. I started to become impure. My mind was thinking of all these unclean, impure things. These things made my heart black. Cold and Ugly. 

Then I started to look at myself and think my waist line should be thinner, and my legs should be toner. I could see my flaws, and I began to not care how modest my clothes were, to make myself look better. I wanted to be thin, and I wanted him to look at me and tell me I was worth something. When I dressed like that, I made him lust and become impure within his own heart. Ladies, we should never put that upon men. We should dress modestly and have men respect us for who we really are. When you dress to show off your body, do you really think that they look at you for what's inside? Girl's it doesn't matter if you're too short or too tall. Too wide, or too thin. What matters is what's inside. Because that is where you will find your true beauty! 

My mother is a precious woman, and I thank God for her. She would tell me how he wasn’t good for me. And of course, as the young rebellious child I was, I didn't want to listen. I wanted to always go against what she said. I thought it was my life, and I could do what I wanted. 

After a while, my boyfriend and I decided to take a bigger step in our relationship. After we took that awful step, everything went downhill from there. I was an emotional wreck. I didn't really know when enough was enough. But then I decided to stop this, because I just couldn't handle the emotion. I felt like I did the "right thing" by breaking up with my boyfriend, but I still never truly gave it up, all to God. Then summer came, and one day I got asked to come to Conway with my cousin. I thank God for her, because she gave me this verse, Proverbs 31. This gave me a guide to go by as a woman of God. 

We started to read our Bibles, and she talked to me about how God's love is so HUGE! Greater than any man could ever give me. This past that I have had, has changed me for the better. Of course if I could, I would take it back in a heartbeat, but I can't. So I will tell you how Jesus Christ, the perfect king, died on a cross for you and I. He can take this mess, and turn it into a message! Because God's love is so strong, he can change your life for eternity! 

As women, we just want to be loved. We want to feel like something valuable. Let me tell you, there is a man that will love you more than you could ever imagine! He wants you! He wants all of you! And I pray you feel this love like I do! His love isn't like any kind of love you have ever felt. It's a joy in your heart that brings you peace and comfort. Ladies, this man DIED for YOU! As those whips hit him and ripped through his flesh, he was thinking of you! 

The Almighty God knows you, and He wants to bring you in and love you. All you have to do is say God I give it all to you. It's simple. I praise him for changing my life, and I pray that maybe his work through me will make you realize his love for you. Jesus loves broken people, so it's okay not to be okay. Because that's why Jesus died on that cross. To save you. Because he loves you. 

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

This young lady's life is the proof of Christ's love! 

The Word Disciple Freaked Me Out

Larry and Susan truly were an amazing couple. We were in our early 20's and they were in their early to mid 40's. The age gap initially made us feel like they were second parents to us, but as our relationship grew, they became more like best friends. Larry was a retired police officer from Pompano Beach, Florida. I was an active paramedic with Broward County Fire Rescue. For obvious reasons, we related very well to one another. Larry had a way of encouraging me to be a better person, husband and father.

I never felt awkward around Larry that is until one night when he asked a very random question. We were all eating dinner at their house together, just talking, telling stories and laughing. Then all of the sudden, Larry cleared his throat and said "Bill, Carri, Susan and I have been praying about something. We want to disciple the two of you. What do you think of that?" I will tell you what I thought of that. "Disciple, oh wow! I'm just a little freaked out, are these people really apart of some cult and they have sucked us in and now Larry wants to marry my wife and move us to some commune where we will never see our families again? I've seen this stuff on TV before." That is what I was thinking, what I said was very different, "That sounds nice, Carri and I should pray about that." Larry and Susan both smiled and said, "That would be a good idea."

After we Left their house, Carri asked me if I even knew what "disciple" meant. I said "no, not really." Then I may have said what I was thinking earlier, but i am nit sure. Carri laughed at my lack of understanding and then proceeded to tell me what disciple meant. I would bet she knew what I was thinking. Carri then explained; all they wanted to do was spend time with us, teach us what the Bible says and show us who God is. After she explained I thought "Oh, wow! Aren't I stupid?" I was so glad I never opened my mouth and inserted my foot in front of Larry and Susan. Being a very shy and meek person was a blessing in disguise that night.

Carri and I both agreed that discipleship was a great idea. After all, her mom told me I needed to figure out who God was. Up until this point of my life, I only had just a taste, just a little brush of seeing and feeling who God was. Little did I know, the gates were about to be flung wide open. God was about to walk right in to my heart and soul. The one who had been knocking on the door of my life, I was about to meet face to face.


The picture is a homeless boy in Nicaragua that we ministered to. Yes he knows Jesus now! The picture reminds me of how I felt trying to figure out who God was on my own.


Revelations 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!

Unconditional Love and The Bet Was On.

My "There is a God" encounter with Carri resulted in  becoming best friends.  The awkward thing about our friendship; Carri  set me up on dates with her friends.  What I did not know at that time was Carri thought to herself  I was out of her league.  How crazy a thought was that?  Gorgeous blue-eyed captain of the flag corps blonde thinks a lowly, shy, under achieving brokenhearted wimp is out of her league.  Now that is humility, on her part.

I remeber  hoping that we would date someday, but if friendship was all I could have that was good enough for me.  After all, this girl was making something happen in my heart that I had never felt before.  I really liked it.  I am not talking about lustful thoughts or even infatuation.  It was genuine acceptance, concern and unconditional love.  My family made me feel that way, but you expect that.  I took that for granted.  This was just so different; this was a friend who did not have to be that way.

The opportunity I had been waiting for finally arrived.    All I wanted was the chance to have an actual date with just Carri and none of her friends. 

Carri was sitting in her dad's ford truck in front of my house after dropping me offone day.  I was leaning in the driver's window  just talking to her.  I was trying to find the confidence to ask the big question, "Will you go on a date with me?"  Then Carri out of total randomness says, "You know this truck has 24 inch rims."  I looked down and thought, "Yep she is right."  My response to her  was, "no they are not."  Immediately she responded, "Do you want to bet?" Challenge accepted.  I responded without hesitation, "Sure, if you are right I will buy you dinner and a movie, if I am right you can buy me dinner and a movie."  With the cutest smirk on her face she said, "Ok the bet is on."  Long story short Carri won, which I already knew she would.  I just wanted a date.  Carri then leaned out her window, kissed me on the lips and then immediately sped off. 

What I had found, but did not understand was unconditonal love.  This is the same kind of love found in Christ. The unconditional love found in Christ is even better because it is not skewed by inpure thoughts, jealousy, or even lustful desires. 

I Corinthians 13:1-3 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love. 

The Bullying Saga Continued and I Doubted God

So where did the hurts and brokenness from bullying lead me? They led me to a place where I doubted God and His love. At least the God I thought I knew, the God of religion.  The one who was contained within the walls of a well-dressed and richly clad structure.  After all, is where I thought He belonged?  Why would the God of the universe live anywhere else other than a mansion built by the hands of man for His glory? My deceptive and disillusioned thoughts led me to believe, "A living God and all His greatness would not want to associate himself with a loser like me. As the years went on I found myself falling deeper into depression. 

When I turned 12, my family and I moved to a new home in south Florida.  Quickly I found myself being bullied there as well.  It all began right after I started school.  First, I stood out as wimp, I had little to no athletic ability and I was scrawny.  That made me an easy target for those ahead of me on the puberty journey of raging testosterone and bulging muscles. 

One particular incident that really stands out in my memory as a defining incident was during my music class. Let me startwith this, I was extremely shy and beyond timid.  Any time I had to be a public spectacle even in the confines of a small group I was terrified.  My heart would race and pound out of my chest, i could not catch my breath, my mind would spin and make me dizzy, and then that stupid bladder problem.  Yep you guessed it, I would pee my pants.  One particular class I had to play a song on my recorder in front of all my peers.  For me it was standing before a crowd at Carnegie Hall in my underwear at best.  Unfortuantely, I was wearing a pair of light gray pants.  The performance went something like this:  palpitations in my chest, shortness of breath, dizziness in the head and then the flood. Yes I pee'd my pants right in front of the entire class before I ever hit the second note of Mary had a little lamb. The entire class burst out laughing.  From that day forward, I was targeted. 

The intentional shoves became knock downs and punches.  The petty name calling became daggers to my heart and soul.  I was embarassed and shamed nearly every day. 

Our school had an area of portable buildings for classrooms.  They were all lined up in a square of either 3x3 or 4x4, I can't remember for sure. Either way this created an area, perfect for games like hide-and-seek, chase and tag.  I would hide and they would seek and chase.  Instead of tagging they would chunk rocks. 

Again the messages I head and believed:  "Nobody likes you", "Nobody wants you", "Nobody cares", and "You will never amount to anything."  Why I never said anything to my parents I still don't know.

Before I close this post, I want to make a couple things clear:

For one, God, the creator of this entire universe and all life that it contains, He does not dwell in temples built by the hands of man. 

Acts 17:24

 "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands

Secondly, the true loving God, the one we can call Abba Father (Daddy), He does want to be your friend and walk with you. 

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  These two very important facts I did not get at this time of my life. 

Me sharing Christ with some children
 in Santa Fe, New Mexico

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's Love!

The Negative Impact of Bullying

Like I said in the previous post titled "Bullying and the message it sent" I was hearing and believing the messages "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything". Think about these messages and the impact they might have on a person's life. Especially a person who already has physical and confidence issues. Please understand, this was not a message I was receiving from my family. I had and still have a really good family.

Before I go on I would like for you to know I am a youth pastor, paramedic and a registered nurse. So I do have a little bit of education, probably just enough to make me dangerous.

God created each of us with some very basic innate needs and desires. In my studies, I believe that Maslow describes our needs best. Maslow Hierarchy consists of these needs in order:

*Physiological needs: things like air, water, food, things that sustain life.

*Safety needs: personal and physical safety.

*Love and Belonging: involving family and friends.

*Self Esteem: the need to be respected and have self-respect.

*Self Actualization: reaching your fullest potential.

If these needs are not met sufficiently enough, then it makes the subsequent needs more difficult to satisfy. For example: if you take away someone's ability to breath then they cannot feel safe, love and belonging won't matter, self esteem does not count and self actualization is impossible. That is just the short and sweet description. You must understand that the hierarchy of our needs truly is complex and intricate in nature. The basic point is that each need affects the others. Even to the point of making it impossible to achieve a need.

So imagine this if all needs are met sufficiently, then life is good. How does bullying affect this hierarchy of basic needs? Bullying attacks you emotionally and physically on a daily basis. The daily "Bully Message": "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything".

The negative life impact is this; you lose your drive to go on, you believe there is no meaning or purpose to life, and you lose your will to live. You become angry, hopeless, depressed and even suicidal. Maybe you will strive to find answers and maybe you will not. I have been there. I have been angry; I have felt hopeless, I have been depressed, I have been suicidal. Why? Bullying of course. Yes, I questioned the existence of a loving God because of it.

Bullying robs a person of their will to live. I can think of more teen suicides than I would like to remember over my 20+ years working as a paramedic. So many of these kids took their lives because of bullying. Bullying in the locker room, school halls, lunch room, city park, in their own homes, and even over social media. Young lives taken prematurely with pills, ropes, bullets, knives, alcohol.... The message I am certain everyone of these kids heard; Life isn't safe "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything". Sadly we live in a cruel world because of sin.

There is a place of safety and it is found in the LORD, His name is Jesus. If you are hurting because of bullying or any other reasons trust me when I say, there is HOPE. If you need to, message me and let me encourage and pray for you. My hearts desire is that my life will be the evidence of Christ's love and others will see and believe.

Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!