Jared is Going to Die

The same year that Beware got a new name, God had also put another young man on my heart.  This story is pretty cool.   This kid did not get a new name, but he did a new life.  By the way, this story is a little longer than most, but I promise it is well worth your time to read it.  God did something incredibly amazing!  You will be glad you read it, I promise.

At MFUGE, there are several track groups divided into various ministry focuses.  There are tracks for children's ministry, games and recreation, social, PCY (painting, construction, yard work), and creative.  I was in a group involving children's ministry.  We would go to various sites like youth centers, children's homes, and even community parks.  We spent three days at the youth center where Beware/Brandon was a member.  We spent another two days in East Saint Louis at a community park. 

Our mission at the community park was to promote an outreach for a local church.  We went around the community inviting neighbors to come to the park and enjoy a family fair that we were hosting.  There were games, face painting, skits, crafts, prayer groups, music, tournaments, all kinds of fun and entertainment.  All of this was with the intention to gather community residents together in order to promote their local church. 

I and two other teenagers went out door-to-door inviting people to join us at the park.  We were given a very specific area that would could go and solicit.  Anything outside that area was gang infested; we were not permitted by any circumstance to go into those areas.  Bright colored shirts were not allowed because of the relation to gang colors.  There were a couple problems.  First, I never got the message about NOT wearing bright colors.  I had on a bright red t-shirt.  Second, there was nobody home in the area we were in. 

The teenagers I was with felt very discouraged since we had not been able to invite one person.  So we prayed, we prayed for God to guide us to the houses and to lead us to open doors.  Guess what, God did.

While walking down a particular street we noticed a group of teenagers shooting bottle rockets at apartment across the street breaking windows.  At first, we wanted to turn around because we realized we had entered into "gang territory."  But God said go, I was not the only one who felt that way.  Both of the teenagers I was with felt very strongly the same thing.   Honestly, none of us felt threatened in the least bit.

When we approached the group, it was interesting, we were not threatened but there were some crude remarks made.  I noticed one of the boys appeared to be handicap.  I invited him and the rest of the group to the park to come hang out. My challenge to them was to simply come and just check out what we were doing and what it was all about.  If they did not like it, they could leave.  No promise on their behalf was made.  I expected that would be the last we saw of any of them.

We went home that day disappointed, the gang of boys never showed up.  A few kids did, but not enough to outnumber the MFUGE group of about 25 youth.  We may have had 10-12  neighborhood kids come that day.  That night I prayed, I asked God to bless the efforts of the teenagers and the passionate desire of their hearts to reach kids who live in a very difficult environment.  I asked God to allow them the opportunity to share the hope they had with the kids that felt like there was no hope.

Day two in East Saint Louis rocked our world.  A couple other mission groups joined us in the park.   Kids literally were coming from everywhere, countless numbers of kids and their parents.  It was amazing.  But still there was no sign of the "gang."

Around lunchtime I noticed the handicap boy coming with his parent's and a few other kids.  Some of the teenagers were from that gang we had talked to the day before. When I saw them coming, I knew something divine was about to happen I could just feel it. 

The handicap boy's name was jarred.  I met Jared’s dad as soon as they arrived at the park.  He and I began to talk about church and God.  He told me this, "Jared has been praying for a sign, a sign from God that he will be ok.  He has prayed for months that God would bring someone into his life that could help him."  He went on to say, "Jarred made all of us come today because he felt like God said we all needed to be here, so we came."  I said, "I am so glad you are all here, we just want to encourage you, pray for you, and show you who God is."

Jared's dad then shared something very heart breaking.  He told me that Jarred use to be a very healthy very athletic kid.  He talked about how Jarred had been the spiritual leader in their home and he always kept his family in church.  That is until he got sick.  Jarred had some kind of unidentifiable disease that was ravaging his body.  His arm was drawn up into his chest, he walked with a stiff leg, and his speech was so slurred you could hardly understand what he was saying.  The doctors had no idea what was happening.  What they did know is that Jarred was going to die.  His airway was swelling gradually to the point that it was going to suffocate him to death.  They had seen every specialist in Saint Louis and repeatedly Jared was given no hope to live.

I asked Jared’s dad if we could pray for Jared.  His dad smiled and said, "Please do, please pray for Jarred.  Prayer is so important to him.  His faith is so strong, but his health has pulled him away from church and our family is falling apart.  Please pray."

I gathered up a few of the kids that I felt were strong in their faith.  As a group we gathered around Jared and with his permission prayed.  It was the most spiritually intense prayer experience I had ever felt up until that time.  Tears were flowing out of every eye.  We left that day feeling so broken and yet so touched.   We all felt blessed to have been allowed to be a part of Jared's life that day.  It was so hard for us to go.  None of us wanted to leave Jarred behind.  

Two years later, we returned to Saint Louis for MFUGE.  I never forgot about Jared or Brandon.  I was hoping I might be able to return and find out what happened.  Unfortunately I did not get to go back to Brandon's youth center nor did I get to go back to Jared's neighborhood.

It was during our night church group meeting that I got the answer to what I was hoping for.  I was encouraging our kids to just listen to their hearts and do whatever God was leading them to do.  I then shared Jared’s story.  I shared how God led us to his house, and how we were able to gather around him and pray.  I told them that we will not always know what God will do after we are gone, but we just needed to trust him.  I then told them how powerful our prayer experience was.  This is awesome; one of our girls raised her hand and said, "I know what happened to Jared."  My mouth hit the floor and tears came out of my eyes.  Then she shared this; "We met Jared at a community park today.  Jarred was sharing how an MFUGE group a couple years before had gathered around him and prayed.  He explained how he was going to die.  Then he went on to say that a couple weeks after they prayed, God healed him.  There is nothing wrong with Jared; he is very normal and very athletic."  "Jared is very much alive!"

Sadly, I don’t have a picture of Jared.  Prayer was more important than pictures that day.  The picture I am sharing is the mission track group I was with that year.

 

John 9:3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ’s love!

Lost My Job and Doubled My Mortgage

I had shared in a previous post that we were living the "American Dream."  We were not filthy rich by any means, but I had a great job that made very good money that allowed Carri to stay home with our kids. We had a three bedroom 2 1/2 bath house on 2 acres out in the country. We were living rather comfortably and we were able to enjoy the greater pleasures of life.

Six people in a three bedroom house for a family like ours was getting just a little tight. With the income I had, it was not an issue or a problem to either buy a bigger house or add on to the home we already had. After some sincere prayer, we decided to add on to our current home. The addiction included a larger dining room, living room, two more bedrooms, laundry room, tornado shelter, and a two-car garage. Yes, that was a lot to add on to a house.  But hey, God blessed us with the finances and the ability to do so. As a result, we doubled the size of our home and we doubled our mortgage.

Meanwhile, what I did not know is that my job was on the line. I was going to lose my job not because I was failing to perform, or even performing inadequately. My job was on the line because there were employees who did not care for my management style. I led as a Christian leader. I never forced my faith or ever made others feel uncomfortable because of it. I treated staff the way I felt Christ would have treated them. I was caring, compassionate, and willing to do whatever I could to help.  Even if that meant forgiving an employee who deserved to be fired and giving them a second chance. I was a responsible steward of the operation and capital budgets as well.

What went wrong at work, I may never know the full truth. I do know there were employees who were jealous of my position and wanted someone different. There were cliques and divisions amongst certain groups.  In addition, a few would even undermine what I was trying to accomplish. As a result, I was falsely accused of irresponsibility, harassment with my faith, and favoritism.  Complaints became surmounting and relentless. Administrations hand was forced to do something. I was given this ultimatum, step down from my position, or take probation for 3 months. At the end of three months if I had not been able to achieve the goals set for my department then I would be terminated.

I was shocked! The service I had been managing had become a magnet service in the state. People were lined up for years trying to get a job with us, and turnover was virtually nonexistent. The quality and standards had increased significantly and notably, even at the state level. Managers from all over the state and others were calling me for advice. What was happening? It almost seemed to me as if there were a spiritual battle going on. There were two extreme views of my performance.  On one side, everything was perfect and could not be any better.  The other side I was a failure, a cheat, a chauvinist, and I showed favoritism.

I knew in my heart that I was doing what was right.  The obvious evidence confirmed it from every angle. I decided I was going to take the probation. I met with our human resources director and she told me this: "Bill I like you a lot, and I don't see anything wrong with your performance. I am talking to you as a friend. Do not take the probation, step down." I asked "why?" She replied; "Because you will lose your job, administration has set your goals and expectations so high no one can achieve what they are expecting of you. You will be set up for certain failure if you accept probation."

My first thoughts were these: "I just added on to my house and now my mortgage is doubled. If I step down and become a staff medic, I will lose more than half of my income. Why is this happening God, why? I have done nothing wrong."

Carri and I prayed and we just simply asked for peace. God granted that peace even though our so-called "American Dream" was coming to an abrupt end. Today I am so thankful that God allowed that door to be closed, literally right in my face. It was hard, but He opened doors that I have never imagined. He brought us to a new path that makes the "American Dream" seem like foolishness and nothing more than a superficial pleasure.

I cannot wait to continue sharing my story.  It will blow you away what God has done, and what He is continuing to do. As far as the truly hopeless situation in my life, you have not heard about it yet.

OK, the picture really has nothing to do with this post.  It is my Grandpa, and he is one of my heroes. I love him so much.  He is always telling me, "I am so proud of you!"  "You just might become the next Billy Graham."  Probably not grandpa, but God is using my life for His Glory!

Psalms 119:35-37 Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. 36 Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. 37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!

Our Fourth Baby

After Brenton was born we were living the American dream. I was managing an ambulance service and making good money. We had the 2.5 kids (actually 3), owned our own home on 2 acres, drove two cars, and we took vacations at least twice a year. Carri did not have to work and we were not living check to check. Things were looking up for us. We were truly blessed. Overall, everyone was healthy and happy.

Just when we thought we were blessed to the max, we found out Carri was pregnant again. We were so excited. We absolutely loved having our children and being able to raise them in a Christian home. God must have thought a lot of us as parents. He was allowing us to have 4 children, and all the means we needed to provide for them.

Christmas 1998, we decided it was time to share the awesome news with family. Carri's mom Sandy and her dad were visiting from Colorado. We thought that the timing was perfect; there could be no better gift than to announce another grand-baby was on he way. We bought Sandy a necklace with four children on it as a gift and to surprise her. That was going to be our special way of letting her know. We just knew she was going to be excited. Sandy loved babies.

Christmas day 1998, we gave Carri's mom her present, that special surprise necklace. We were all gathered around the tree just waiting for the surprise on her face. We could hardly stand it, we were so excited. Sandy opened the box and was speechless. One of us said "surprise! You are getting another grand-baby." The look on her face quickly turned to anger. Sandy was furious.

You are probably wondering why she was so upset. She was upset, because Sandy had a genetic disease called Huntington's chorea. Huntington's is one of the most monstrous of all diseases. It literally ruins lives and destroys families. The children of Huntington's victims have a 50% Chance of having the disease themselves. I will tell more about Huntington's disease later in another story. Understand this; Sandy knew statistically two of her four grandchildren would most likely have the disease that was now plaguing her body. In her mind, we were fools for bringing children into this world only to have such a high risk of suffering such a devastating and monstrous disease.

Cassidy was born in august of 1999. Not without complication though. To make a long story short, there were problems with the labor because Cassidy was breach. We prayed, and she was delivered by an emergency c-section. She was healthy but a rather cranky baby to say the least.

As time went on, Sandy fell quickly and madly in love with her newest grandchild. Like I said, Sandy loved babies. We quickly learned that God used Cassidy to keep Sandy going. She loved all her grandchildren and even said she could not have imagined life with any of them not being there.

I shared this part of our lives for a couple reasons. We have a genetic disease hanging over our heads. This disease ruins lives and destroys families. If we had lived in fear, we would not have had the four amazing children that we have today. In fact, the doctor of our first pregnancy suggested that we have genetic testing done. If the testing came back positive, then he suggested that we have an abortion. Abortion was never, I repeat never an option for us. God does not make mistakes.

It has been very evident that God brought each one of our children into this world for very special reasons. Each one has made an impact for God in their lives and the lives of others. I believe that our children are the proof and evidence of God's love. If we had surrendered to fear, then we would have missed some of God's greatest blessings.

The picture is of our children from 2004. They are much bigger now. They are on the beach of the Pacific Coast of Northern California.

Matthew 6:27, 34 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!

You are Going to Lose Your Baby

Everything seemed to be going fairly well after our spontaneous move to Arkansas. We were living in our first home, we both had decent full time jobs, and Carri was pregnant with our second child. Baby number two was due July 1994. Quite honestly, about the only thing missing was the white picket fence around our yard. Other than that, we were living that dream life. We had friends, family, church, a small house in the country, and a dog. What more could you ask for.

A few months before our baby was due, Carri began having some problems. She was having pain, and some minor bleeding. We were not too concerned, but we knew enough that it was not normal. The symptoms she was having continued to get worse, so we decided it was time to have her checked by a doctor.

I was working when the doctor sent Carri to the hospital to have an ultrasound. I talked to the guys I was working with and they all said, "Go be with your wife, we will cover you. Come back as soon as you can." So, I took the offer and went with Carri to her ultrasound. It was kind of strange, because the tech did not want me in the room while they were doing the procedure. I was not too happy, I wanted to see the babies heart beat and face if I could. The tech said no, I could not go this time.

Something just did not seem right, so I went and talked to one of my ER doctor friends. She said, "I will go down to radiology and see what I can find out." Dr. Ash was gone a little longer than I thought she should have been, but I figured she was side tracked. After what seemed like an eternity, maybe 45-60 minutes Dr. Ash returned. I could tell something was wrong by the look on her face. She said this; "Bill, I am so sorry, Carri has an abrupted placenta and she is going to lose the baby. You need to take your wife home and prepare yourselves for what is going to happen."

Wow! I felt like every positive emotion I had just melted away. I was left standing there completely empty. Then, pain and sorrow began to fill me up. Tears flowed from my eyes. I felt completely helpless. I remember thinking; Why would God take something so precious away from us? We were doing all the right things. I gave my life to Him, we moved for Him, we dedicated our first child to Him; we were faithfully attending church… Helpless and hopeless is how I felt. I had to take my wife home so we could lose our baby. After Carri and I held each other and cried, we went home.

After we got home, this is what we did, we prayed. We told God that this baby was His just like the first child He blessed us with. Then we said, "God this is your baby, if you want to take her home you can. However, we are asking for a miracle. If you allow us to keep this child, she will be yours and we will raise her along with the first in a Christian home. We will do everything we can to teach them your ways and show them who you are. Our children will always be dedicated to you."

July 20, 1994 our second baby girl was born. She was as healthy as any parent could hope. Today, she is a very godly woman, who is passionate about finding God's will for her life. We are so proud of who she is and what she has allowed God to do in her life. We are blessed with all the children God has given us. They all have a true heart for the Lord.


The picture is the beautiful baby we should have lost, serving on the mission field in Nicaragua, taking care of babies!

We did and said just as Hannah when she dedicated Samuel to the Lord.

I Samuel 1:27-28 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."


May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!

Jesus Says Follow Me, He Didn't Ask to Follow You

Why do we get the idea in our heads and think that we know better than God does. When we pray, we typically tell Him what to do. We pray things like heal this sickness, I need to make more money, and so on. One of my favorites “Bless this food to nourish my body, in Jesus name amen!” As if, God is going to take your extra large fast food high fat, high calorie meal and turn it into manna, I think not.

A big thing we tell God is where we want to and need to go. God does not work that way. He did not do it in the Old Testament with the Israelites, and He did not do it in the New Testament either. As a matter of fact, He pretty much leads people to places that just do not make sense. The Israelites He led into the desert. His disciples he always said "come follow me." He never said, “Hey guys, can I come with you and make you disciples.” He leads us to some of the most unlikely places that simply just do not make sense. That is until we get there and we can look back. Hindsight is always 20/20.

1992, was the year our oldest daughter Kenzie was born. Having a child really makes you look at things from a different perspective. We faced Hurricane Andrew in south Florida just a few days after she was born. That will open your eyes and make you consider a safer place to live in order to protect your family from devastation. But something else caught my attention even more. I was working for Broward County Fire Rescue during that time, and I began to notice something even more disturbing. I was witnessing firsthand the escalating rate of crime, drug trafficking, gang violence, and domestic abuse. We were living in a place that was becoming a war zone. Home robberies were becoming more common, crack cocaine and other drug related incidents were on the rise, drive by shootings and other gang related violence was occurring daily and domestic abuse was everywhere. The overwhelming thought; “This is no place to raise a child”, consumed our minds daily. We knew it was time to go somewhere, but where? So we began to pray, seeking God's direction.

During the summer of 1993, we felt God leading us to a small town in Arkansas. Carri had family living there, so we went for a visit. While visiting the area we also searched for jobs. Carri seemed to be able to find a job everywhere she went. I could not find a job no matter how hard I begged. I was very discouraged because I felt God was leading us to Arkansas. If He was leading us there, then why could I not find a job? Carri’s income was certainly not going to be enough. We were going to need both our incomes in order to just make ends meet.

Carri and I spent a few sleepless nights just praying and asking for God’s direction and a sign. All He would give us is the burden within our hearts to move. There was no other sign. Arkansas that is where He was leading us. Move to Arkansas, with no job except Carri’s. Lose half our income and no other way to pay or bills or make ends meet. Oh and spend all we have to move there and have nothing left when we arrived. It did not make sense, but God said move, so we did. A few weeks later, we were moving into the basement of Carri’s aunt and uncle’s house with our 1-year-old baby.

What we did not know then is what God was going to do with us once we arrived. I am certain for one, God was looking for obedience. Obedience is hard especially when it makes no sense and it does not seem rational. But God knew our needs and He provided. Within two weeks, I had a full time job and a few months later, I was managing an ambulance service making more money than I ever dreamed and Carri no longer had to work. Money is not everything and I no longer have that job, but that is yet another God story.

As I continue sharing my story, you will see how this step of obedience was a crucial part of God's will for our lives. I encourage you, if God says go, go don't question why even when it makes no sense. Trust in The Lord and you will be blessed!

The picture is of me on my first foreign mission trip to Satu Mare, Romania. Notice the Hog's scrub top! This trip never would have happened if we chose not to follow Christ to Arkansas.

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Philippians 4:19 and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!