Right after I started leading our churches youth group, we had a youth mission trip. The week of July 4, 2009, I was the new leader for the youth MFUGE trip to Mobile Alabama. MFUGE is comparable to a mission trip, church camp, and revival on steroids. Lifeway ministry organizes these particular events. It was during this week, I debated with God whether or not He could use me.
I had honestly been struggling with the temporary youth leadership role I had been asked to fill. I had no idea how long it was going to take to find a new youth pastor. My struggle was the fact that I was still rather shy, quiet, timid, and fearful. During this week, God began to speak to me in a way I had never heard or experienced before. Repeatedly The LORD was saying "Bill I want you to lead the youth, I want to use you to reach them for Me. I am going to use you to do this. You will teach them to worship and love Me. You will show them who my son is. Your life and leadership will become the proof and evidence of who I am, through you they will come to know me." My immediate response was something like this "God, I am not able, I am not biblically wise, I am not able to speak, I am not smart enough, I am not strong enough, I am not courageous enough, I am not secure enough, I am not popular enough, my life is not stable enough, I am not……" Throughout this week and the weeks that followed, this was the context to the debate God and I was having.
The main theme for that years MFUGE was having faith, faith to believe, faith to take a stand, faith to move forward, faith to do what God has called you to do. The story focused on Moses and the burning bush. Moses was drawn to what seemed impossible, a burring bush that was not being consumed. My life was a burring bush because of the things I had faced and dealt with in the past, my personality, lack of confidence, and even more so our battle with Huntington's disease. Just like the burning bush that was not being consumed or destroyed by fire, neither was my life. By all standards, my life and family should have been a train wreck so to speak.
Just like me, Moses had one excuse after another as to why he could not do what God had called him to do. God's response to Moses’ doubt was "I AM." For several months, I argued with God. " I am not able, I am not biblically wise enough, I am not able to speak well, I am not smart enough, I am not strong enough, I am not courageous enough, I am not secure enough, I am not popular enough, my life is not stable enough, I am not……blah blah blah…" God's response to every excuse I had was "I AM."
Looking back, my faith and trust in the Lord was weak and pitiful. Who was I to say “No” to God? Of course, I cannot do the things of God, but He can and He will in and through anyone who is willing to surrender and say “Yes.” After all, He is the great I AM.
Are you like Moses and I, do you doubt what God can do in and through you? I assure I was one of the worst doubters, but now I am one of the most assured believers. God is the “I AM.” He is the one who gives us the strength and courage to do what He has called us to do. He has never called anyone to be qualified first. As a matter of fact, no one is qualified enough in self to adequately represent God. God however is adequate enough to qualify those He has called. All you have to do is say “Yes!”
It is in this story and the next couple of stories that I began to discover God’s will and purpose for the church. The picture is the group of youth we took to MFUGE, Mobile Alabama 2009.
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Exodus 3:14 ,God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ’s love!
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