Baby Number Four Had Complications as Well

      We were living the American dream.  I was managing an ambulance service and making good money.  We had the 2.5 kids (actually 3), owned or own home on 2 acres, drove two cars, and we took vacations at least twice a year.    Carri did not have to work and we did not have to live check to check.  Things were looking up for us.  We were truly blessed.   Overall, everyone was healthy and happy. 

     Just when we thought we were blessed to the max, we found out Carri was pregnant again.  We were so excited.  We absolutely loved having our children and being able to raise them in a Christian home.  God must have thought a lot of us.  He was allowing us to have 4 children, and all the means we needed to provide for them.

     Christmas 1998, we decided it was time to share the awesome news with family.  Carri's mom Sandy and her dad were in from Colorado to spend Christmas with us.  This was perfect; there could be no better gift tan to announce another grand-baby.  We bought Sandy a necklace with four children on it, to give to her as a gift and to surprise her with the four grandchildren.  We just knew she was going to be excited.  Sandy loved babies. 

     Christmas day 1998, we gave Carri's mom her present that special surprise necklace.  We were all gathered around the tree just waiting for the surprise on her face.  We could hardly stand it.  We were so excited.  Sandy opened the box and was speechless.  One of us said "surprise! You are getting another grand-baby."  The look on her face quickly turned to anger.  Sandy was furious.

     You are probably wondering why she was so upset.  She was upset, because Sandy had a genetic disease called Huntington's chorea.  Huntington's is one of the most monstrous of all diseases.  It literally ruins lives and destroys families.  The children of Huntington's victims have a 50% Chance of having the disease themselves.  I will tell more about Huntington's disease later in a different Blog post.  Understand this; Sandy knew statistically two of her four grandchildren would most likely have the disease that was now plaguing her body.  In her mind, we were fools for bringing children into this world only to have such a high risk of suffering such a devastating and monstrous disease. 

     Cassidy was born in august of 1999.  Not without complication though.  To make a long story short, there were problems with the labor because Cassidy was breach.  We prayed, and she was delivered by an emergency c-section.  She was healthy but a rather cranky baby to say the least. 

      As time went on, Sandy fell quickly and madly in love with her newest grandchild.  Like I said, Sandy loved babies.  We quickly learned that God used Cassidy to keep Sandy going.  She loved all her grandchildren and even said she could not have imagined life with any of them not being there. 

     I shared this part of our lives for a couple reasons.  We have a genetic disease hanging over our heads.  This disease ruins lives and destroys families.  If we had lived in fear, we would not have had the four amazing children that we have today.   In fact, the doctor of our first pregnancy suggested that we have genetic testing done.  If the testing came back positive, then he suggested that we have an abortion.   Abortion was never, I repeat never an option for us. God does not make mistakes. 

     It has been very evident that God brought each one of our children into this world for very special reasons.  Each one has made an impact for God in their lives and the lives of others.  I believe that our children are the proof and evidence of God's love.  If we had surrendered to fear, then we would have missed some of God's greatest blessings. 

This is a picture of our children from 2004.  They are much bigger now.
They are on the beach of the Pacific Coast of Northern California.

Matthew 6:27, 34 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Worrying can paralyze us in such a way that we will totally miss the blessings that God has planned for us.

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love

Huntington's Disease Web Site

HOPE for the Hopeless on Facebook

Now find "HOPE for the Hopeless" on Facebook
You can help spread what God has done, is doing and will do by clicking "LIKE" on the page and sharing.
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I encourage you to READ my other posts,BEGINNING WITH THE INTRO ON 10.06.12 they tell the whole story.

 You will see how I found HOPE not in religion, but in a relationship with the living God.

Almost lost another baby: An Opportunity to Raise Up a Man of God

!!!  PLEASE TAKE TIME TO PRAY FOR THOSE EFFECTED BY HURRICANE SANDY !!!

     It just would not be right not to brag about our last two children.  I have all ready bragged about the first two.  When we made a covenant with God that our children will always be His first, we meant it.  God made sure we knew who was in control during all of their births.

     December 1996 our first and only boy was born.  We knew from an ultrasound that we were having a boy.  I was so excited.  I love my girls and I would never trade any of them for a thing, not even another boy.  God was giving me an opportunity to raise up a man of God, and someone who would carry on our family name. 

     During Carri's labor in the hospital, we began to notice that something just did not seem right.  For one, she just was not progressing very quickly in labor.  You would have thought child number three would just walk out into the delivery room.  Just kidding.  The other thing we noticed is that his heart rate was dropping quite a bit every time there was a contraction.  In between contractions, his heart rate was around 160-170.  During and after contractions, his heart rate was dropping in to the low 100's, then the 90's, then the 70's…all the way down into the 20's.  Yes, that is right his heart rate would drop into the twenties.  Me being a paramedic and Carri a nurse, we realized rather quickly that there was something seriously and critically wrong.  Our nurse was alarmed, our doctor, well he was clueless.  In fact, he lost his medical license a few years later. 

     We were not stupid, nor naïve.  What can you do in a situation like this?  Pray, and that is exactly what we did, we prayed.  When Brenton was finally born, his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice.  Our beautiful bouncing baby boy was being strangled throughout the entire labor and delivery process.  Oxygen was being cut off from his brain for a few minutes at a time, several times every hour.

 

     After a labor and delivery like this, you would expect complications.  The brain needs blood and oxygen to survive. Without it, either you suffer brain damage or you die.  Brenton however had no ill effects whatsoever.  Except, he is one of the funniest persons I know. 

     At the age of 15, Brenton is about to go on his second foreign mission trip to Nicaragua.  He feels God calling him into ministry, and he has already preached his first sermon a few months ago.  Without a doubt, our son truly belongs to the Lord.

OK, this is a bad picture, but it is the only one I can
 find of Brenton on his first mission trip to Nicaragua.

     Tomorrow I will tell the story of our last child's birth.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.     

Brenton preaching his first sermon at YOUTH

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love!

Go Home and Prepare to Lose Your Baby

     Everything seemed to be going fairly well after our spontaneous move to Arkansas.  We were living in our first home, we both had decent full time jobs, and Carri was pregnant with our second child.  Baby number two was due July 1994.  Quite honestly, about the only thing missing was the white picket fence around our yard.  Other than that, we were living that dream life.  We had friends, family, church, a small house in the country, and a dog.  What more could you ask for.

This is a maternity photo I took for a dear friend that I led to the Lord.
I will be sharing that story another time.

     A few months before our baby was due, Carri began having some problems.  She was having pain, and some minor bleeding.  We were not too concerned, but we knew enough that we knew it was not normal.  The symptoms she was having continued to get worse, so we decided it was time to have her checked out. 

     I was working when the doctor sent Carri to the hospital to have an ultrasound.  I talked to the guys I was working with and they all said, "Go be with your wife, we will cover you.  Come back as soon as you can."  So, I took the offer and went with Carri to her ultrasound.  It was kind of strange, because the tech did not want me in the room while they were doing the procedure.  I was not too happy, I wanted to see the babies heart beat and face if I could.  The tech said no, I could not go this time. 

     Something just did not seem right, so I went and talked to one of my ER doctor friends.  She said, "I will go down to radiology and see what I can find out."  Dr. Ash was gone a little longer than I thought she should have been, but I figured she was side tracked.  After what seemed like an eternity, maybe 45-60 minutes Dr. Ash returned.  I could tell something was wrong by the look on her face.  She said this; "Bill, I am so sorry, Carri has an abrupted placenta and she is going to lose the baby.  You need to take your wife home and prepare yourselves for what is to come." 

     Wow! You had to be kidding me.  I felt like every positive emotion I had just melted away.  I was left standing there completely empty.  Then, pain and sorrow began to fill me up.  Tears flowed from my eyes.  I felt completely helpless.  Why would God take something so precious away from us?  We were doing all the right things.  I gave my life to Him, we moved for Him, we dedicated our first child to Him; we were faithfully attending church… Helpless and hopeless is how I felt.  I had to take my wife home so we could lose our baby. After Carri and I held each other and cried, we went home.

     After we got home, this is what we did, we prayed.  We told God that this baby was His just like the first child He blessed us with.  Then we said, "God this is your baby, if you want to take her home you can.  However, we are asking for a miracle.  If you allow us to keep this child, she will be yours and we will raise her along with the first in a Christian home.  We will do everything we can to teach them your ways and show them who you are. Our children will always be dedicated to you."   

     July 20, 1994 our second baby girl was born.  She was as healthy as any parent could hope.  Today, she is a very godly woman, who is passionate about finding God's will for her life.  We are so proud of who she is and what she has allowed God to do in her life.  We are blessed with all the children God has given us.  They all have a true heart for the Lord. 

This is the beautiful baby we should have lost,
 serving on the mission field in Nicaragua,
taking care of babies!

We did and said just as Hannah when she dedicated Samuel to the Lord.

I Samuel 1:27-28  I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." 

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love!

Boasting in the Lord and a big shout out!

     Today, I just want to say Thank you!  I want to thank My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for what He has done.  By going through illness, bullying, depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, death of loved ones and friends, Huntington's disease with my wife and so many other difficulties God has made me who I am today.  God has taken my life and made an example for others to see who He is.  He truly does bring about hope into your life.  Through Him we find our purpose, we discover the meaning of life, and we become His hands and feet.  The one word that sums it up the best is alive.  He makes us come alive spiritually; He proves He is alive to others through us, and He keeps us alive eternally.  I live a life no longer dying, but a life that is becoming more and more alive each day. 

     I also want to give a huge shout out to all my followers.  As of this moment that I am writing this God has reached people in the USA, Germany, Romania, Canada, Russia, Nicaragua, France, United Kingdom, Norway, South Africa, Philippines, South Korea, Brazil, Israel, Dominican Republic, and Turkey in 3 weeks time.  There have been 4126 page views, and an unknown number of hits on Facebook. 

     This blog is not about me, but What Christ has done for me, in me, and through me.  My prayer will always be that my life will be the proof and evidence of His love.  My Hope is that the readers of this Blog will be encouraged, inspired, and ultimately accept Jesus Christ into their lives as Lord and Savior.

     Jesus Christ truly is the gift we all desire.  The gift of being made alive. I will continue sharing what God has done in my life.  The testimony has only just begun.

    If you feel that this blog has encouraged you and even inspired you in anyway, I ask you prayerfully consider liking it, Google+ it, recommending it, and just simply sharing it with anyone and everyone you feel led to share this with. 

sunrise over the volcano Haleakalā in Maui

God Bless and May my life be the proof and evidence of His love,

Bill Butcher

2 Corinthians 10:17 But, "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 

John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Sunset off the Coast of Maui the same day

It did not make sense, but God said move, so we did

     It is funny how we get ideas in our heads and think that we know better than God does.  When we pray, we typically tell Him what to do.  We pray things like, heal this sickness, I do not want to lose this boy or girl I am dating, I need to make more money, and so on.  One of my favorites “Bless this food to nourish my body, in Jesus name amen!”  As if, God is going to take your extra large fast food high fat, high calorie meal and turn it into manna.  I think not.  A huge thing we are always telling God is this, where we want to and need to go.  God does not work that way.  He did not do it in the Old Testament with the Israelites, and He did not do it in the New Testament either.  As a matter of fact, He pretty much leads people to places that just do not make sense.  The Israelites He led into the desert.  His disciples he always said come follow me.  He never said, “Hey guys, can I come with you and make you disciples.”  He leads us to some of the most unlikely places that simply just do not make sense.  That is until we get there and we can look back.  Hindsight is always 20/20.

     

     1992, was the year our oldest daughter Kenzie was born.  Having a child really makes you look at things from a different perspective.  We faced Hurricane Andrew just a few days after she was born. That will open your eyes and make you consider a safer place to live in order to protect your family from devastation.  But something else caught my attention even more.  I was working for Broward County Fire Rescue during that time, and I began to notice something even more disturbing.  I was witnessing firsthand the escalating rate of crime, drug trafficking, gang violence, and domestic abuse. We were living in a place that was becoming a war zone.  Home robberies were becoming more common, Crack cocaine and other drug related incidents were on the rise, drive by shootings and other gang related violence was occurring daily and domestic abuse was everywhere.  The overwhelming thought; “This is no place to raise a child”, consumed our minds daily.  We knew it was time to go somewhere, but where?

This is a picture I took in New Orleans

It is damage from Hurricane Katrina

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

     The summer of 1993, we felt God leading us to a small town in Arkansas.  Carri had family living there, so we went for a visit.  While visiting the area we also searched for jobs.  Carri seemed to be able to find a job everywhere she went.  Me, I could not find a job for nothing.  I was very discouraged because I felt God was leading us to Arkansas.  If He was leading us there, then why could I not find a job?  Carri’s income was certainly not going to be enough.  We were going to need both our incomes in order to just make ends meet.  I went back a couple times to the local ambulance services and even begged to wash tires.  Nothing, no one was hiring. 

     Carri and I spent a few sleepless nights just praying and asking for God’s direction and a sign.  All He would give us is the burden within our hearts to move.  There was no other sign.  Arkansas that is where He was leading us. Move to Arkansas, with no job except Carri’s.  Lose half our income and no other way to pay or bills or make ends meet.  Oh and spend all we have to move there and have nothing left when we arrived.  It did not make sense, but God said move, so we did.  A few weeks later, we were moving into the basement of Carri’s aunt and uncle’s house with our 1-year-old baby. 

    What we did not know then is what God was going to do with us once we arrived.  I am certain for one, God was looking for obedience.  Obedience is hard especially when it makes no sense and it does not seem rational.  But God knew our needs and He provided.  Within two weeks, I had a full time job and a few months later, I was managing an ambulance service making more money than I ever dreamed.   I no longer have that job, that is another story.  Money is not everything. 

     That is just the beginning.  I encourage you to continue reading my Blog posts.  You will see how God has taken us from where we were to where we are today.  Moving to Arkansas without a job, that was easy compared to what He had planned for us after we moved. 

Philippians 4:19 and my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Me and some of the guys, we set up a medical clinic

over by" Fort Apache" The guys there literally had to fight for their lives.

God knew their needs when He sent us randomly in their direction. 

If God Kills You, He Can't Use You Anymore

     I was baptized at the Church of the Cross in Coral Springs, Florida.  To say the least, I was pretty nervous.  I was still rather timid, and shy.  Baptism was a huge event for me.  I was going to stand before the entire church and they were all going to watch.  All eyes were going to be on me.  I was so afraid that I would have to give some kind of speech, and I would do something that would embarrass myself for life.  I really had a lot of fear issues back then.  I may even had been afraid of my own shadow in those days.  Just kidding. 

     The Sunday had finally come, and my baptism was about to start.  My heart was racing, my breath was short, and I just knew I was going to die.  You may be thinking, that's just a little dramatic.  Well maybe it was.  On top of all the other fears I had about being a public spectacle, it was storming as well.  Storms shouldn't be a problem, unless you are getting baptized at the Church of the Cross.  Their Baptismal is outside.  The entire congregation gets to sit in the safety of the indoors, while the guy getting baptized has to go outside. 

     Behind the pulpit was a large set of sliding glass doors.  Behind those doors was the outside.  That is where the baptismal was located.  As the pastor was preparing me for what to expect, all I could hear was loud, earth shaking rumbles of thunder.  The lighting was so intense you could see the flashes from inside the church, behind closed doors.  You would have thought the battle of Armageddon had started.  I was shy and timid and hardly ever spoke much.  But this was insane, my life was at stake.  you don't ever, I repeat ever stand in a body of water when lightning is striking the ground all around you.  God granted me the strength and courage to speak.  With a cracked up voice that was fluttering because of the pounding inside my chest I asked the pastor, "Is this a good idea since the lighting is so close and intense?"  without hesitation he replied, "Son, If God kills you, He can't use you anymore.  I don't think He is finished with you yet, lets go." 

     Before I knew it we were in the baptismal, and the sky's had parted.  I am serious the storm broke up like there was some kind of intermission going on.  I was dunked as a dead man, and then I was raised to life out of the water, symbolizing the cleansing of my sin. 

     I shared this story for two reasons.  One baptism is a command from God.  Matthew 28:19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  If we have truly given our lives to Christ, Then we need to be obedient to Him.  Baptism in itself is nothing magical and it does not save you.  But it is a celebration and testimony of your new found faith in Christ.  If you have accepted God's gift of eternal life through His son, then you will want to get baptized.  The second reason I shared this story was for what my pastor said to me, "Son, If God kills you, He can't use you anymore.  I don't think He is finished with you yet, lets go."  That statement has always stuck in my head.  Although I had a lot of fear, I always hoped it was true.  I had no idea of the magnitude of what God was going to do through a nobody like me.  God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. 

I Corinthians 1:26-31 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 

This is a bad picture of me preaching in Nicaragua for the first time.

My interpreter is David.  What an amazing young man he is.

Who would have thought 20+ years ago I would be preaching in Nicaragua?

     My plan is to continue sharing how God has not just changed my life, but how He has brought me to where He has me today.  It gets sweeter and sweeter as I have learned to surrender even more and more. 

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love

A New Life In An Absolute Truth

     OK, so I shared in my last two posts how I figured out who God was.  But there is more than just figuring out what you think is true.  When things are left to interpretation and personal preference, then there is always room for error. 



Sunset off the coast of Maui
 God's artwork is simply majestic!


     Relative truth seems to be a theme for today's society.  Relative truth basically says each and every person is right even if they do not agree with one another.  Honestly, I can't help but think that relative truth has to be an absolute lie.  Everything can't be true. I know I am right because relative truth says that I am right, there is no wrong in relative truth.  So If I believe there is no gravity, then does that mean I can just leap into the sky and fly?  When it comes to God, relative is not good enough for me now and it was not good enough for me then.

     Relative proof was not good enough, because I was searching for the absolute truth.  That is why I tried and did all the things I did.  I  was searching for truth in all the wrong relative things.  What did I get?  Sometimes temporary satisfaction and relief, but mostly more pain and greater suffering.  Nothing positive would last in the things I tried, they were only brief and temporary at best.  The negative effects were absolutely evident, and confirmed by the condition of my heart.

     Ask yourself; "Are the things you are doing working? Do they have a lasting positive impact on your life?" Is your life the way it is now working for you?  Do you truly have HOPE when you face HOPELESS situations?  What is the best way to determine absolute truth?  Face the extreme.  Don't believe in gravity? Try jumping out of an airplane, you will figure out the absolute truth the moment you hit the ground. 

     I figured out who God was, and the absolute truth became clearly evident by a new life.  God literally changed me form the inside out.  All the pain, hurts, suffering, depression, addictions, guilt shame.....gone.  This was not a emotional or spiritual high, this was a life changing life altering event in my life.  God promised His Holy spirit to those who are in Him.  Romans 8:16 "The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." I am not who I was, I am now who He has made me.  I have not jumped out of an airplane without a parachute, but I have faced some extreme trials and difficulties since the time I gave my life to Christ.  What became true the day I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, has remained true even up to this day.  There has been plenty of tests and opportunities for my faith to fail, but that simply just has not been so. 

     So forget about relative truth, how about trying the absolute? 

John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me.

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love

I Finally Figure Out Who God Was! - Part 2

   Here is part two of yesterday's post, and it is a little bit longer.  Please read carefully and pay close attention as you read this entry. 

The following is when it all clicked, it all made sense.  It was beyond figuring out who God was; it was experiencing God and His presence.  God is not found by the terms or definitions of man. He is not found in the things made by man.  Not even in idols, trinkets, or even buildings of worship.  God is not found in the rituals of religion either.

Abandoned church in Nicaragua

    It was in these three following verses that opened the doors to the mystery of who God was.

  

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 

     Do you really understand this verse and what it is saying?  No one is without sin not me, not my parents, and not even my pastor.  Everyone has sin.  Can you accept and agree with this in your own personal life.  The only one who lived without sin was Jesus Christ, the son of God.  For me admitting I had sin was a no brainer, of course I had sin and lots of it.

The first part of Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death...

     Wow! That is very bad news.  The consequence of sin is death.  That means no heaven.  Why? How could this be?  Let me explain, God is Holy, righteous, pure, He is the complete absence of sin.  If sin were allowed to enter heaven, then heaven would no longer be heaven.  Sin would contaminate the Holiness of God's kingdom.  Let me put it this way.  If you had a bottle of the purest water and then added one drop of poison, then would the whole bottle of water would be poisoned.  Sin is like an infectious disease.  If it is allowed to continue, then it spreads.  Medically, infection must be destroyed, ultimately infectious materials are incinerated.  Hence, sin must burn in a place called Hell.

The second part of Romans 6:23 … but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

     This is even a bigger WOW!  Eternal life, does that mean no death, no consequence, and no hell?  Not so fast, here is where I figured out who God is.  It all centers on the gift, the gift of God.  So what is this gift?  Jesus Christ, He is the gift.  Jesus stepped down from heaven without sin, by being born of a virgin.  He lived a life without sin, and then He died a horrific death on a cross.  Three days later, He defeated death and rose to life.  How, because Hell is for sin.  Hell could not hold onto our savior because He had no sin.  The gift is this; Jesus Christ died in your place.  He willingly suffered the consequence of your sin. He defeated death and therefore redeemed you of your sin. 

     If you were standing before me and I had a gift in my hand for you, what would you have to do in order to receive this gift?  You may be thinking, say please, say thank you, do something for it, have a birthday, celebrate Christmas, earn it…. The answer to all of those statements are no.  There is only one thing you can possibly do in order to receive that gift, you have to take it in order to receive it.  Until you physically reach out your hand and take it, you have not received it.    

     The gift of God is the same way.  You cannot take Jesus with your hands, you cannot take Him by going to church, you cannot take Him by having a bible, you cannot take Him by simply knowing He existed, you cannot take Him by celebrating Christmas or even Easter.  Jesus Christ is not a material gift that you adorn your house with or even wear around your neck.  He is not a statue or any kind of idol made by the hands of man.  There is only one way you can receive the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.  That way is faith.

Romans 10:9-10 that if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

     This is how you receive the gift of eternal life:  You must confess Jesus as Lord of your life, because He is the son of God, and He died on the cross taking your consequences.  He defeated death because He was without sin and therefore redeemed you of your sin so that you may have Life.  This is not a belief on a simple historical event or even a ritualistic religious practice.  This is a relationship with a living savior.  It is believing, in faith, that Jesus Christ is the son of God, and that He died for you. It is surrendering your life to The Lord Jesus Christ by entering into a relationship with Him.

     It clicked, I finally figured out who God was.  I prayed a simple prayer like this:  "God I know I am a sinner, and I know I deserve death because of my sin.  I believe with all my heart the Jesus is the son of God and that He died on the cross for my sin.  I believe that He rose from the dead, that I might be redeemed from my sin and have eternal life.  I surrender myself to you and ask Christ to be Lord over my life.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen!" 

     It was at that moment, that my soul came alive.  All those close encounters and feel good experiences that I had felt before.  They were all just a glimpse of what God had in store for me.  The moment that I truly surrender my life to Christ, He did what He promises in His word.  I John 4:13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.  When you receive the spirit of God, there is no question, and there is no doubt who God is.  He literally changes you from the inside out. 

     This gift is for everyone. God does not desire that anyone should perish without knowing who He is. 

     Do you want this gift? If so, have the faith and pray just like I did. If you make this decision and ask Christ to be Lord of your life, please share this with me in either a comment or email.  Then follow up with a Christian pastor and be baptized.  More than anything find a church that will disciple you.

New believers in Nicaragua 

giving their lives to Jesus Christ

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love

Part 1 - I Finally Figure Out Who God Was!

If you read any of my Blog posts, you must read this one, and the next.  These are the posts that may make it all click for you in finding Hope in your hopelessness; these are the ones that will show you who God is.  It is in this Hope, in truly knowing God, and who He is that has turned my world upside down.  It was this hope that brought healing into my heart, brought purpose to my soul, and meaning into my life.  I found peace that surpassed all understanding.  My soul was brought to life.

     Larry and I began our discipleship during the spring of 1993. I must say, it was not as I had thought it would be.  It had nothing to do with joining a cult.  Larry simply began sharing with me what the Holy Bible was, how it was arranged, how to find scripture,  spiritual truths, attributes of God, the Holy trinity, the death of Christ on the cross and His resurrection.  God got my attention, and now for the first time I was about to discover who God was.  There were many other things that Larry taught me, but one particular lesson made it all click. 

     I am just going to cut to the chase with this.  Larry shared three very important and critical spiritual truths.  Here is what they were:  First, we are all sinners.  Second, we deserve punishment for our sin.  Third, God wants to give us the gift of eternal life instead of death.

     All this time, I thought I would find God in a church, through an idol, and maybe even through my own spiritual focus.  I allowed man to define who God was; I allowed life circumstances to prove if God was love, and simply I tried to define God by my terms.  God was not in my definition, God was not in a makeshift cross that I could wear, God was not in a Saint Luke pendant, God was not in the walls of a church, God was not in a wax Buddha, He was not in Scientology, He was not in meditation, and God was not even found in religious rituals. He was not anywhere that I was expecting. 

     I had always expected God to do something to prove himself to me.  The simple fact He already had.  Two thousand years before, He already proved himself.  He did it by dying on a cross in my place and rising from the dead 3 days later.  What more could I ask for?  What my heart was really saying was this: "God what you did on Calvary was not good enough, I expect more." 

     Tomorrow, I will share how God spoke to me revealing himself and changing my life forever more.  

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; 

seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Here are a couple of  local children from 
Niquenohomo, Nicaragua.
This picture reminds me of the child like faith
 it takes to truly find God.

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love

Disciple, I am just a little freaked out

     Larry and Susan truly were an amazing couple.  We were in our early 20's and they were in their early to mid 40's.  The age gap initially made them feel like second parents to us, but as our relationship grew, they became more like best friends.  Larry was a retired police officer from Pompano Beach, Florida.  I was an active paramedic with Broward County Fire Rescue.  For obvious reasons, we related very well to one another.  Larry had a way of encouraging me to be a better person, husband and father. 

     I never felt awkward around Larry that is until one night when he asked a very random question.  We were all eating dinner at their house together, just talking, telling stories and laughing.  Then all of the sudden, Larry cleared his throat and said "Bill, Carri, Susan and I have been praying about something.  We want to disciple the two of you.  What do you think of that?"  I will tell you what I thought of that.  "Disciple, oh wow!  I'm just a little freaked out, are these people really apart of some cult and they have sucked us in and now Larry wants to marry my wife and move us to some commune, we will never see our families again.  I've seen this stuff on TV before."  That is what I was thinking, what I said was very different, "That sounds nice, Carri and I should pray about that."  Larry and Susan both smiled and said, "That would be a good idea."

     After we Left their house, Carri asked me if I even knew what disciple meant.  I said "no, not really."  Then I may have said or thought, "But if it has to do with a cult and Larry is going to marry you, I want nothing to do with them ever again."  Carri laughed at my lack of understanding and then proceeded to tell me what disciple meant.  "Bill, all they want to do is spend time with us, they want to teach us what the Bible says and show us who God is."  Oh, wow! Wasn't I stupid?  I was so glad I never opened my mouth and inserted my foot.  I was so glad God made me a very shy and meek person.  That was a blessing in disguise. 

     Carri and I both agreed that discipleship was a great idea.  After all, her mom told me I needed to figure out who God was.  Up until this point of my life, I only had just a taste, just a little brush of seeing and feeling who God was.  Little did I know, the gates were about to be flung wide open.  God was about to walk right in to my life.  The one who had been knocking on the door of my life, I was about to meet face to face.

     Tomorrow I will reveal how I figured out who God was and how I met Him face to face. 

 

This is a homeless boy in Nicaragua that we ministered to.

Yes he knows Jesus now!  The picture reminds me of how I

felt trying to figure out who God was on my own.

 

 Revelations 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

 

May my life be the proof and evidence of HIS love