My gateway to being bullied

I was born with a kidney defect that prevented me from being able to control my bladder.  I honestly do not remember exactly what was wrong, but I know I had to have surgery to correct the problem.    Long story short, I had a bladder control problem and it did not go unnoticed.  It was not uncommon for me to wet my bed at night and even wet my pants at school.  Word got around pretty quick, for obvious reasons, that I was a bed wetter and a baby.  This title was the gateway to bullying.  I remember the verbal teasing, the chasing, pushing, and even hitting that occurred on the playground and after school.  In elementary school, I distinctly remember a tire maze that was more of a trap for me.  After a few attempts to go in and enjoy its complexity, I quickly learned it was not a safe place.  The tire maze, it was a trap for the timid and a safe haven for bullies.  The bullies, they could do and say whatever they wanted within the sanctuary of their tire fortress.  You see teachers could not see or hear what was going on very well within this labyrinth of terror.  However, my avoiding the tires was not the solution to my problem.  Hindsight, it made things worse.   Avoidance only proved I was a wimp and I was afraid.  Truth was it only made me a more desirable target.   Not only was my bladder a problem, so was my self esteem.  I had little to no confidence and therefore I had no courage.  I was the kid who could strike out in t-ball.  When it came to neighborhood games and picking teams, I was always the last.  Well actually most of the time I was told things like, "We have enough", "and we do not need you".   On the rare occasion I did get to play, I usually heard things like, "you suck", "you stink", and "we do not want you on our team".  Because of my problems, I was extremely shy and timid.  The one thing I know I was good at was running.  I ran home every day from school.  I did not run for fun, I ran for my life.  That my friends made me very fast and gave me endurance like a bloody gazelle running from a pack of cheetahs.    I could go on and on about my experiences of bullying.  That is not really, what is important about this story.  What is important is the effects bullying had on me mentally and socially.  The message that I heard and believed was this:  "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything".  One regret I have is that I never really ever told my parents what I was going through.  The two people who loved me the most, I chose to hide these things.  Bullying is a real problem and it is a bigger problem today than when I was a kid 30+ years ago.  With the aid of technology, bullying has no boundaries.  Those who have a compassionate heart may ask; why does God allow these things to happen.  I do not have the answer for every situation, but what I do know is this; God used my weakness and my hurts to make me who I am today.  For this reason, I am grateful.  God fulfilled in me what He promised about the blind man in John Chapter 9.

John 9:3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

This picture is not related to the story, it's just a picture of me taking care of a little guy in Romania during a mission trip.  

I encourage you to READ my other posts,they tell the whole story.

 You will see how I found HOPE not in religion, but in a relationship with the living God.

May my life be the evidence of His love.