Monday, October 8, 2012

The Negative Impact

Like I said in the previous post I received a message from my perpetrators and it was this, "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything".   Think about that message and the impact it might have on a person's life.  Especially a person who already has physical and confidence issues.  God created each of us with some very basic innate needs and desires.  Before I go on I would like to make known that not only am I a Youth Pastor, I am also a paramedic and a registered nurse.  So I do have a little bit of education, probably just enough to make me dangerous.  In my studies, I believe that Maslow descries our needs best.  Maslow Hierarchy consists of these needs in order: 
            *Physiological needs:  things like air, water, food, things that sustain life.
            *Safety needs: personal and physical safety.
            *Love and Belonging:  involving family and friends.
            *Self Esteem:  the need to be respected and have self-respect.
            *Self Actualization:  reaching your fullest potential.
According to Maslow a person must have, these needs met in order.  If these needs are not met sufficiently enough then it makes the need difficult to fill.  For example: if you take away someone's ability to breath then they cannot feel safe, love and belonging don't matter, self esteem does not count and self actualization is impossible.  That is just the short and sweet description.  You must understand that the hierarchy of our needs truly is complex and intricate in nature.  The basic point is that each need affects the others.  Even to the point of making it impossible to achieve a need.  So imagine this if all needs are met, then life is good.  How does bullying affect this hierarchy of basic needs?  Emotionally and physically, you are attacked on a near daily basis.  The message: Life isn't safe "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything".   The negative impact is this:  you have no drive to go on, you find no meaning or purpose to life, and you lose your will to live.  You become angry, hopeless, depressed and even suicidal.  Maybe you will strive to find answers and maybe you will not.  I have been there.  I have been angry; I have felt hopeless, I have been depressed, I have been suicidal.  Why, bullying of course.  Yes, I questioned the existence of a loving God because of it.  Bullying robs a person of their will to live.  I remember a time as a paramedic when a young boy died.  Nobody understood or even cared enough to ask about his life.  This boy was hurting because of family dynamics and bullying at school.   What people did not know is that he was a very kind and compassionate kid.  He was the kind of person that always wanted to be a friend.  Sure, he had many hurts, but he was willing to fight and try to move on.  One day he got into a physical fight and was told, "Nobody likes you, you should just die".  What is even worse, there was a crowd of kids who never said a thing.  That night he got into a fight with family.  The message I am certain he heard: Life isn't safe "nobody likes you", "nobody wants you", "nobody cares", and" you will never amount to anything".    Early the next morning he placed a bullet through his heart and immediately died.  Sadly we live in a cruel world because of sin.  There is a place of safety and it is found in the Lord.

Proverbs 1:33 - but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

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