Brokenness, This is Where Healing Begins

     This dear friend of mine who accepted Christ, fell into complete brokenness.  It is amazing how your perspective changes when your eyes, ears, and heart are focused on and through the Lord.  It is when the Holy Spirit for within us begins to reveal the truth about us that we begin to fall apart.

     It was after accepting Christ as her Lord and Savior that my friend began to see her life for what it really was and had been.  God began to expose her hurts from the past abuse and He began to convict the sins she was currently living in.  Some of the brokenness was in the form of anger. Why did God allow these things to happen.  Some of the brokenness was in the form of shame.  What have I done, and why am I doing these things.  With true conviction from the Holy Spirit, we all do this.  We begin to look at our reflection in the mirror of Christ.  What we see is our hurts, emotional wounds, physical wounds, ugliness, brokenness, shamefulness, filthiness, and maybe even disgust.  We see our lives for what they really are and we hate what we see.  We see His truth, we feel His call for repentance, and we see His mercy and grace in redemption.  We see what Christ has done for us and feel ashamed.  We can become so ashamed and hurt that all we want to do is leave this life that we have and enter into a life with Him.  We want to die so we wont hurt and wont mess up anymore..

     I came into work one morning, and immediately I knew something was not right.  I did not know what it was, but I had this sickening feeling inside of me that I could not get past.  My partner was someone different.  I went to our dispatch and asked, "where is my normal partner?".  The response "called in sick last night."  I was not an audible voice that I heard next, but it was very loud and clear.  "Go to her house and get her."  That message could not have been any more clear than someone standing before me and saying it audibly.

     I had no idea where she lived other than the name of the town.  A very very rural town.  I went to my boss and explained that something was wrong and I needed to leave and go to her house.  He said "I have not idea where she lives, the only address on file is a PO box."  He asked, "why are you so sure you need to go?"  I said, "because God said so."  He looked slightly puzzled, I'm sure he had not heard that before.  I then said, "if you wont let me go, I will quit my job! it is that serious."  He then gave me permission to take my new partner and the ambulance to find her.

     No one had any idea of where we would find her house, other than the name of the very rural town.  My partner asked "how do you think we will find her?"  I said "prayer."  I prayed and we set out on our journey.  Amazingly, God led us directly to her house.  We were driving down a backwoods dirt road when I caught a glimpse of her truck.  Immediately we turned into the driveway.

     I knocked on the door, no answer. I rang the bell relentlessly, no answer.  I checked all the doors, nothing was open.  We noticed a barn.  My partner went to the barn, no one.  Just as I was about to kick the door in, it slowly began to open on its own.  I pushed the door the rest of the way and there swaying in the hallway was my friend.  Her skin was pale, speech slurred,  pupils dilated, and balance was like a reed in high winds.  Just as I approached, she began to fall.  I caught her and set her down.  It was an overdose on medication.  She could not stand to live the life she had been living, she could not accept the hurts she had been through.  All she wanted was to leave this world and rest in the arms of God.

     Brokenness, this is where healing begins.  In our brokenness, God can remove the parts of our lives that He does not desire.  These are the things we must repent from.  The sin we must rid our lives of.  When we are broken, God can take our wounds upon himself and heal them.  Only when we are shattered can God take the pieces He desires and put us back together again.  Brokenness is being wholly and completely surrendered to the Lord and resting in His arms.

     Here is a devotion I posted on Facebook recently, I think when we are broken we become like the wild rabbit.  It should not be this way:

Have you ever tried to rescue a wild or stray animal before? I have more than once. Once I was trying to free a baby rabbit from the chicken wire in my garden. As I was trying to rescue him, he went nuts, crazy, he freaked out. He was jumping, twisting, biting, and just wild. Because of this, he caused himself more harm. Scratches on his head and ears, lost fur, and even a deep cut. If he only would have relaxed. He would have just simply been set free. We are like that wild rabbit. We get scared and we panic and we end up causing ourselves more harm. God really does want to help us and not harm us. Relax and let Him. The devil, he loves to cause fear and frenzy. He delights in harming us more. 

1 Peter 5:6-8 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

This is a group a kids from Carei, Romania.

all of these kids accepted Christ during a revival 

service during our first foreign mission trip to Romania.

I LOVE Romania and hope to go back some day.

     Accept the redemption that Christ died for and embrace the sanctification we can now live for.  Through redemption, our sins have been redeemed and we are made clean.  Through sanctification, our lives are made new.  The old self has been crucified on the cross and the new self is being brought to life through Christ.. 

May my life be the proof and evidence of His love!