This Blog post is a little bit long, but do not let that
stop you from reading it. It is
powerful!
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| This is Carri doing Medical missions in Satu Mare, Romania |
Life was going
good for us by the world's standards.
But, like I had said in my last post, I had become luke warm in my faith
and was just simply going through the religious motions. I really did not have a healthy dependence on
God. There really was not a need, so I thought.
I pretty much had things under control by my own power and will.
I honestly think
that this is the problem with most Christians; life seems good and we forget
that we really do need God. Truth is, we
are not in control as much as we think we are.
Every moment we are one second closer, one heartbeat closer, and one
breath closer to death. Some of the
strongest Christians I know are the ones who have had their days numbered. Usually cancer gets their attention. It seems when the end of life has become
imminent, a sense of urgency arises. It
is then that we realize; we do not have control. All we have is God and His mercy.
Carri and I were
at the HDSA Center for Excellence in Saint Louis Missouri at Barnes Jewish
Hospital. For three months, we had been
traveling to Saint Louis for a series of hospital visits. Our
first visit, we both had to undergo psychological evaluation. Our second visit we were psychologically
evaluated again and blood tests were drawn. This final visit, we were once
again psychologically evaluated to determine if we were mentally and
emotionally stable enough to find out the results of the blood test that was
drawn one month prior. The doctor and
the social worker both agreed that Carri and I were stable enough to know the
results of the blood test.
December 19, 2005
we received our hopeless diagnosis. Carri was positive for the genetic disease
Huntington's Chorea. Carri and I sat
together hand in hand with tears flowing from our eyes as we heard the doctor
say, "I am so sorry, Carri is positive for Huntington's." I could not help but notice that both the
doctor and our social worker had tears as well.
Huntington's
Chorea, there is not cure, there is no medicine, and there is no
treatment. Within this genetic disease
itself, there is no hope. If you have
the gene, you will have the disease.
Each of your children stands a 50% risk of carrying the gene as well. We have four children. If they have the gene, they will have the
disease as well.
What makes
Huntington's disease (HD) hopeless? It
is not just the fact that there is no treatment or cure, it is what the disease
does that makes it worse. The symptoms
of Huntington's are similar to Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and psychosis combined. HD destroys the brains positive abilities
such as self-control, happiness, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and
such. The victim is left with anger, rage,
depression, hate, frustration, loss of cognitive abilities, loss of
self-control, and all the other negative things you can imagine. Those ravaged by this disease also lose their
ability to control their own bodies. The
length of time that it takes from the onset to death can take several
years. That is if suicide or murder does
not come first.
As if that is not
enough, HD destroys families, marriages, friendships, and jobs. It ruins anything and everything. As I said, the victim's brain is robed of
everything positive and left with only the negative. Relationships become hostile and typically
fall apart. Families turn on one
another, marriages fail, friends leave, and employers fire. Most caregivers cannot stand to work with
Huntington's patients because of the physical and verbal violence associated
with it. I could go on and on about how
bad it is and the numbers of lives that have been destroyed because of it. I will not.
I hope that what I have said helps you understand how hopeless and grueling
of a disease it is.
The first part of
our four and a half hour ride home was in silence as tears just flowed from
both of our eyes. I know we both had the
thoughts going through our heads about how bleak our future had become. How we had no idea, how we would deal with
and endure what was before us.
Seriously, we were just given news that was worse than a death sentence. It was like someone saying "I have bad
news and no good news, your lives are about to be destroyed and your suffering
is going to last for years. And by the
way, there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it, welcome to
hell."
The silence
finally broke, Carri and I both agreed God was in control. We knew we had two choices. The first choice was to surrender to
Huntington's disease to only be destroyed and the other was to surrender it to
God. I do not remember my exact words,
but I know I have said this before, "Huntington's does not have to be a
monster, and God is bigger than this. If
God has allowed it, then He will be glorified through it if we are willing to surrender
to Him." We could no longer live a luke
warm faith just simply going through the motions of religion feeling complacent
with where we were. It was not going to
work, not for this. We prayed and that
day we both made a covenant with God.
Our covenant was this, we surrender our all so that you can be glorified
through us, let our lives be the proof and evidence of your love. Use us to reach others so that they may come
to know you as well.
You see by the
world's and by medical standards, our lives are without hope. There is absolutely nothing anyone, any
medicine, or any treatment can do.
Nothing can make any of it better.
But by the grace of God, He can.
It has been nearly seven years since Carri was diagnosed with this
dreaded disease. In that seven years,
God has taken us to places we never would have imagined. I can honestly say that we are blessed
because of this. Sure we have our hard
times and challenges, but God has magnified Himself in and through us in ways I
had never thought possible. Spiritually,
we both have been on fire since that day.
God has given us a passion and a hope that just refuses to burn
out. God has taken a curse and turned it
into a blessing in order to show the world who He really is. I will be sharing more about what God has
done since that time.
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| This is Carri giving her testimony in Nicaragua |
Please allow God
to use us to encourage you, not matter what you are facing. His HOPE is real and true. Feel free to message me on this blog or even
send an email. Our desire is that we can
share with others what God has done for us.
John 9:3 "Neither
this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so
that the work of God might be displayed in his life.
May My Life Be The Proof And Evidence Of His Love!
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