Fatal Ending Failures

What I am about to share happens to be two of the most powerful personal experiences in my life.  These are the reasons that motivate me to reach youth, or anyone who is hurting for that matter.

Suicide:

 Professionally, I cannot even begin to list the number of attempted and successful teen suicides I have been involved in. So many lives are tragically lost prematurely because of emotional pain. Most of which could have been prevented if bullying did not exist by peers and even family members. These lost lives may still be with us today, if they only would have confided in someone who could have been an advocate for them. Parents, pastors, teachers, councilors, coaches, aunts, uncles, friends...there is always someone willing to listen and help.

 My first girlfriends name was Tina; she was one of the most beautiful girls in the school. Every guy wanted to date a girl like her. Tina could have dated anyone on any given day. Most people really liked her and she was fun to be around. The awkward thing about Tina, she dated me. I was the wimp, the scrawny kid that most kids made fun of. To me, our relationship resembled the beauty and the Beast. Well more like Beauty and the Wimp. For whatever reason, Tina had an interest in me.

Like most high school relationships, ours did not last long. After a few weeks, she began to show up at school with unkempt hair and ugly clothes. I even remember the glasses that only my grandma would have worn. It was strange; Tina was trying to make herself ugly. She became too weird for me. I became very creeped out so I walked away from her.

A few weeks went by and Tina made several attempts to talk to me: stopping me in the hallway, leaving me notes, and waiting for me outside after school. I did everything I could to avoid her. I did not want to deal with whatever was going on. Like I said, her recent transformation creeped me out. I literally turned my back on her. The cat and mouse chase went on for a few weeks then it abruptly came to an end. Tina shot and killed herself with a bullet to her head.

As the police investigation unfolded, news broke out that Tina was allegedly forced to perform as a nude dancer by her mother at a so-called gentlemen's club. What I believe now is that Tina was making a last ditch effort to reach out to someone who should have cared. Could it have been that she wanted to be ugly? If she was ugly, then she would not have had to dance in front of men who were drunk and groping at her adolescent body as if she were a piece of meat. I may never know that answer.

Here is what I do know; I turned my back on a girl who needed me. I sent her the message, "I don't like you, I don't want you, I don't care", "You do not matter to me". What would have happened if I had responded to her call for help? Maybe Tina would be here today.

Drinking and driving:

The second life-changing event for me is the guilt I have had to live with for not taking responsibility for a friend who was drunk and needed to go home. For this and many other reasons, I speak out strongly against alcohol. I have had countless horrific experiences involving this foolishness and stupidity. What makes this even worse is the number of innocent lives that have been taken because of this ignorance induced by drunkenness. No one is invincible when it comes to drinking and driving. Alcohol is in control not you.

I will make this one short. Gary was killed in an alcohol related motor vehicle accident. While driving home from a party in order to protect his friends, Gary hit an oak tree at a high rate of speed. Upon impact, the engine of his car came into the drivers' compartment and killed him instantly. He almost made it home. The large tree he hit happened to be in his best friend's front yard.

Why would anyone ever allow a friend to drive drunk? Fun should never involve alcohol. You might as well play Russian roulette. Here is a fair warning: if you choose to drink and drive, eventually something horrible will come from it. Someone is going to get hurt and maybe even die and it may be you, someone else or even both. Drunkenness is just like putting that gun to your head, pulling the trigger and hoping you have the empty chamber. I was supposed to be Gary's friend; I never tried to stop him and I never tried to discourage him. A real friend is going to tell you when you are wrong. A real friend will try to stop you from being stupid. Honestly, I was not a friend.

Stupidity, ignorance and avoidance
can sure make a mess of things

Two thoughts from God's word I feel apply to this blog entry:

Matthew 5:13-16

 "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Silence and avoidance is the same as losing our saltiness and shutting off our lights. A follower of Jesus Christ is to be the salt and light in this world. Do you get this? We must be who He is. We must reflect His likeness; when we do, people are drawn to Him. They will praise Him. Why? In Christ is where we find hope.

Luke 17:1-3

Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. 2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.