This Was The First Time I Felt Like God Was Talking To Me

The one thing I knew I could not handle was losing Carri to another guy. As long as there was a chance for she and I to spend our lives together, then I could keep working at trying to figure out who God was. If I lost Carri, then I was done. After all, she was my main reason to live. Without her what was the point? so I thought.

A lot of things happened over a span a several months. Carri and I had our ups and downs, and we had our fights. But for the most part we remained best friends. That is until she turned her back on me. I was just to needy and way too consuming of her time. I smothered her, and that drove her away. She began treating me badly just to push me away. It worked, I could not deal with the emotional pain any longer, so I walked away. To me she was dead.

We both had been going through a lot of difficult things. The last thing Carri needed was me being extra baggage because of my insecurities and emotional dependence weighing her down.

After a few months,of us not even speaking to each other, Carri realized how much she wanted and needed me in her life. To make a long story short, we made amends in our friendship.

Carri's mom asked me one day if I had ever thought about marrying her daughter. Without hesitation, I said "yes"! Sandy shared with me how she did not want Carri marrying another guy that she had been dating. She wanted me to marry her daughter. Sandy then gave me this advice, "if you want to win my daughters heart over for marriage, then you will start going to church with her". So I did.

The first time I went to church with Carri, we went to a small Methodist church in Coral Springs Florida. My motivation for going was to please my future bride. If going to church and playing religion was what it would take to win her heart, i was game for the challenge. But what happened was far beyond anything I was prepared for.

I thought I knew what to expect during the Sunday services, but oh how wrong I was. I anticipated the typical religious monotony and the feel good about yourself for attending church. As if I was doing God a favor and winning Carri's heart over for marriage at the same time. Boy was I surprised, I was totally wrong in what I expected. For the first time in my life I felt like God was talking to me while the preacher was preaching. I remember
asking myself "Am I hearing God's voice?" I had never experienced anything like that before. The message was reached my my soul and it felt good. What I felt was similar to how Carri made me feel. I had no idea what it was or even how it was happening, but what I did know is that I liked it. I was finally on the right path to figuring out who God was.

Revelations 3:20

 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

May my life be the proof and evidence of Christ's love!